“God, how is my broken heart a part of your plan?” Have you ever found yourself asking this question at 2:56 in the morning crying out desperate for an answer? If only the thoughts would stop. The thoughts whispering bitter nothings. You are not enough. All is lost. You’re broken and lonely beyond repair this time. God is not enough. These thoughts surround your heart at the cracks waiting for the next hit giving them room to force their way in and take over.
Life can be disappointing. Unfortunate circumstances, good intentioned actions gone awry, words left unspoken among many other happenstances; life can be dreadfully disappointing.
Failed relationships, job layoffs, harsh words spoken over my life, and suicidal thoughts are just a few of the things that have kept me awake in my own 2:56 in the morning moments looking for relief through my tear-stained life lens. The only thing each of these situations had in common was hope. Hope that my tears would stop. Hope that my heart would heal. Hope that I would get to the other side of sorrow. All I had was hope. I couldn’t allow myself to get stuck in those moments. I had to press. Trust me when I tell you it wasn’t that simple, but it was all I had. I couldn’t see how, but I knew Who would help.
Warrior friend, the nights may seem long right now, but there is hope. You too might not see how, but you know Who. There’s hope found in the promises of God. God sees the nights you’ve tossed and turned. He is watching as you walk through the valley of the shadow of death. He knows every trap the enemy has set tripping you up. Every hurt, pain, missed opportunity, disappointment, everything you’ve messed up, and beyond. There’s hope because if you woke up today, God is not finished writing your story. Every day is a plot twist waiting to unfold.
He has kept your tears in a bottle.
He is saving your crushed spirit.
He is making it out for your good, and even your broken heart will fit perfectly into the story.
He will not let you be tested beyond what you can handle, but you have to grab hold of the hope found in His promises to walk with His grace to bear it.
As you wait for Him, you might have to cry a few more nights and look for new mercies through puffy eyes as the sun rises, but there is hope. If you just hold on to His promises: the tears will stop, your heart will heal, you will love again, the thoughts will lose their power, the sun will come out tomorrow and the next day…and again…and again. Before you know it, you won’t be counting on it anymore…and you’ll be ok. It’s going to get better. It just is. God is not finished writing your story because He is simply faithful to finish what He started. He cannot lie, so rest in this.
When I grabbed on to hope, the blood of Jesus covered my heart, and the evil thoughts threatening to take over were captivated by His unfailing love, and my story keeps going. It’s a beautiful mess, but the author is perfect. I am sure that your suffering now cannot be compared to the shining-greatness that He is going to give you (Romans 8:18 emphasis added). Your story will tell of how He turned your sorrow into joy. Beauty for ashes. Life over death. Strength for weakness. And then, you’ll walk into a new chapter. Stronger, wiser, renewed, redeemed, better and bearing scars that tell of how you were stronger than what tried to take you out. Grab hold to the hope of His promises today, and trust Him as you press.
Terasha Burrell
IG: scaronmyforehead
