So you could call me an expert at singleness. I’ve been single pretty much my entire life. Except for that short period in preschool that I dated Michael, but who really counts those relationships?
Now, that doesn’t mean I haven’t dated. I’ve been on dates, but not many were good. And the few that were good are marred by either the guy dying (no, I promise I am not kidding), or being horribly ghosted by the guy at your office who you have to awkwardly run into when you are least prepared for it (like after a week of 12 hour shifts and you aren’t wearing makeup and your geeky oversized glasses).
So after 26 years of singleness I’ve learned what it’s like to be alone, and be happy by myself. That doesn’t mean I have my moments where I am happy with it. But through all of the horrible dates, ghosting and friend zoning, I’ve learned how to have peace with my relationship status.
That peace has not always been present. Let me tell you, I struggle with that peace a lot. I have my days where I wallow in self-pity because another person I went to college with got engaged. It’s difficult when I sit back and realize that I am down to 3 close friends that are single and that I am running out of single friends.
After I have my moment of self pity, I’ve learned to take a step back and remember that God is in control. I have to remember that everything is in His time, and that maybe the reason I am still single is because He wants me to focus on myself or strengthen my relationship with Him. Or maybe the perfect man He has in mind for me isn’t ready for me and our future.
But amidst my daydreams about my future relationship, I remember that God has my back. He is watching out for me.
In His presence, I find peace in the midst of my singleness. While it may not be exactly what I want, I remember that He knows what I need. He will lead me where He needs me to go. In His path I will find comfort and a life of purpose in His name.
