Confession: I Struggle With Loneliness

 In Amy Poole, Unmasked

Loneliness is one of the words that I hate the most.

I hate it because it is something that is faced by everyone, yet no one really wants to admit it. Admitting loneliness is like admitting defeat in life. It seems to scream to the world: I’m not cool enough, interesting enough, or attractive enough.

So we go through seasons of loneliness silently, white knuckling through the pain.

We stuff our loneliness down by joining that club in college or overachieving at work. We decide to binge watch TV shows and online shopping seems like a good way to spend our free time. Working out, now, that will fix that feeling of loneliness. Jumping from relationship to relationship with guys—it may be just a quick fix, but if we keep doing it fast enough, we’ll never really feel lonely. If we just do this, win this, become this, join this, and achieve this then we won’t be lonely.

This is the biggest lie that we all live with. We believe that if we conform to the expectations of others, if we live busy lives with outstanding careers, or if we pack our schedules full enough, we won’t have the time or capacity to feel lonely.

Let me speak from experience when I say that this doesn’t work. I’ve realized in my own life that it doesn’t matter what circumstance I’m in—if the times are good or if the times are bad, the only way we can get the feeling of loneliness to truly leave is to place all of our expectations and hopes on the One who never falters.

Relationships come and go—as suddenly as he started texting and calling, he can easily stop. Friendships rise and fade—one minute your invited and the next you are left out. Clubs disband, achievements loose their prestige, and those gold stars from your boss will lose their luster.

But, amidst the highs and lows that will happen in life, there is a God who is sitting beside you the entire time. There is a God who sees you in your room, crying yourself to sleep the night he stops calling. There is a God who is waiting for you to spend time with him, even when your friends have forgotten to invite you to join them for an evening out. This is the same God who has been waiting for you to place your expectations of unconditional love on Him since before you took your first breath. Not just waiting, anxiously pursuing, chasing relentlessly. Your heavenly Father, who is King of kings, Creator of this whole universe, perfect and unwavering, so desires to spend time with you and give you your heart’s deepest desires.

The most beautiful part of our becoming story is realizing this—realizing that we no longer have to place these expectations for relationships on something or someone that can leave, end, or fade out over time.

The most beautiful part of our becoming story is the moment we finally hear our heavenly Father’s loving plea to stop believing the lies that feelings of loneliness feed us and choose to come to Him.

Today, let’s start taking advantage of the promise God tells us in Deuteronomy 31:6, “…for the Lord your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you.” I believe that when we start living life knowing this to be true, we can live lighter, happier, and fuller days. I believe that when we start living life knowing this to be true, we can live out the life that God has purposed us for.

My challenge for you is the same challenge that I am facing at this very moment: that when we are feeling alone, we choose to lean on our loving heavenly Father for the companionship, security, and fulfillment that we were destined to seek out. My challenge is to choose Him over the things that can only temporarily fill the void.

Author: Amy Poole

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