In Personal Growth

Have you ever felt like you know all the “right” things about God, but sometimes it is just really hard to believe them? Like you know that God loves you, but it is hard for you to believe it because the storms of life are swarming around you. It is so easy to trust God when life is going great, but the second a trial heads our way we duck under our beds in fear. Why is that? It is because our confidence doesn’t come from Jesus Christ. If I found my confidence in Jesus all the time the storms of this world wouldn’t bring me down because I am so totally focused on Him.

Last night I laid in bed for at least an hour just talking to God. Well, actually God did most of the talking. Three years ago I moved from my home in Clarion, Pennsylvania to Miami, Florida. A big change, right? But life wasn’t all sunny beaches once I moved. I had to deal with the pain of missing awesome people who have encouraged me in so many ways. I was home schooled and when we moved I began attending a private school. That was another change in my life. Making new friends isn’t always easy. The past three years have been a whirlwind of change and I haven’t always trusted God in the middle of the changes. I angrily wondered why He moved me away from one of my best friends into a place where finding a godly, Christian friend was pretty hard. I have struggled with self-esteem and wondered where my confidence comes from. Does it come from the clothes I where or the people I hang out with? I haven’t always understood why circumstance in our life happen, but last night I realized why. God held me in His arms last night and comforted me in a way that no human can ever comfort me. God knows my pains and hurts better than I even know them. He whispered reassuring words into my ears. His love for me drew me to tears because I actually believed that He really did love me for the first time. I have known God died for me and loves me my entire life. Hello, I am a pastor’s kid! But last night I began really believing it. Jesus told me that while He was on the cross He pictured me. My life flashed before His eyes. When I cried, He cried. When I felt pain, He felt pain. When I smiled, He smiled. When I trusted Him, He became happy. He loved me so much that even if I was the only person in the world He would have still died for me! WOW! I mean this is the God of the universe talking here! I tend to put expectations on people and when they fail those expectations I become disappointed. God told me, “Emily, the people of this world WILL fail you. I will NEVER fail you. I love you too much.” Last night God reminded me of all the good things that have happened over the past three years. He reminded me of all the awesome people I have met. I learned to find my satisfaction in Jesus Christ alone. Yes, that is something I have known for a long time, but last night I started believing it for the first time.

This morning when my alarm went off, the first sound I heard was praise music from Bethany Dillon. That encouraged me and started my day off beautifully! I actually got out of bed without hitting the snooze button. Sunday mornings are normally a rush for me and I don’t normally spend time with God until I am at church. This morning I had devotions. Guess what they were about, the flesh vs. the Holy Spirit. My flesh was crying out be mad at the world, but the Holy Spirit calmly assured me to rely on God. This morning I was the first person to the car…normally I am the last person to the car! And this morning I didn’t have a frown on my face. Right now I am glowing. I am radiant because the God of the universe, the King of Kings and Lord of Lords loves me. That is all I need to be satisfied.

The same experience can happen to you. You can move from simply knowing God loves you to actually believing it. The choice is up to you. Will you let God wrap His arms around you today? Will you let Him be enough for your thirsty heart? Will you choose to let God be your source of confidence?

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  • Anonymous

    Hi Emily!!
    I really enjoyed reading your blog! I thought it was funny that I read that today because at our Home Huddle the other night I was just saying the very same things you were saying. That I know all the “Sunday School” answers for questions but I wasn’t sure that I actually believed them in my heart! Wow–what a blessing to come to your blog and find comfort in knowing other Christ-followers feel like that sometimes too! I loved all your vacation pics–looks like Team Cummins had a blast. We miss you like crazy. We will keep you in our prayers over the next few weeks as you prepare for your final interviews for the Brio Girl search. What a beautiful girl you are–inside and out!! (A real B.A.B.E.!!) We love you Emily!! Miss Kris (Knepp)

  • Anonymous

    Hi Emily,
    Remember me, Mrs. Samuelson? Just opened my computer in my classrooom for the first time since summer break and your blog was the first thing I wanted to read.
    What an awesome way to explain God’s love for us. I remember meeting you for the first time when you came and tested for Hollywood Christian. That was a transition year for me as well, as I had taken myself out of full-time teaching only to realize that God didnt want me to leave.
    You and Katie were so sweet and I remember praying for the Lord to care for you and guide you while you transitioned from home school to our school.
    Moving or changing directions in a career are always difficult and hard to understand , but with God and with an understanding of God and His love for us we can do all things.
    Romans 8:28 is my life verse and have relied on its promise many times in my life when things were uncertain.
    Loved the pictures also!!!!Family looks great. Say hi to Katie, mom and dad for me. You are really good at this computer stuff.I tried posting pictures on emails this summer and found it very difficult.
    I don’t know much about the Brio Girl search but I think you’re in.
    Look forward to reading more of your blogs during the school year. Thanks for the wonderful come-back for me. It’s always hard for me to come back to work after 2 1/2 months of being in summer fun mode.
    Love in Christ, Mrs. Samuelson 🙂

  • Hannah

    you always have such amazing things to say. i really hope you get the brio girl spot! if you do, we are totally subscribing to the magazine, even if i am too old and brendan isn’t a girl! 🙂 the baby is good, kicking a lot, and still hasn’t shown us yet whether it’s a boy or a girl. we go back monday, and if it doesn’t cooperate that time, then iguess we’re in for a delivery room surprise like back in the old days!

    random question from someone who is surprisingly computer illiterate for her age: how do i get pictures in my blog entries or like you have them in your book list? thanks! 🙂

  • Erica

    This comment has been removed by the author.

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