Guest Post: What I’m Learning About Singleness
By Curtissa Odi
Have you ever been in a circle of friends and all they talked about was the next boy they were “talking” to? Or maybe you were by yourself, out somewhere, seeing couples walk past you and you felt like the birds were singing over them and the rain was pouring down on you, messing up your new shoes and your new ‘do and causing your beautiful manicured nails to get slightly messed up from all that rain—okay maybe I’m exaggerating a little bit, but you get it! Well I for sure know how that feels. Society screams at us that if we don’t have a man there must be something wrong with us. We are constantly bombarded with shows that try to convince us that single is out and a having a relationship, even if it is not the best, is in.
Well, girlfriend, I am here to send you this public service announcement: your worth is not dependent on your relationship status. I know, I know, not what you are used to hearing, but it is the Gospel truth, so let me say it again—Your worth is not your relationship status! You no longer have to spend your days in a sad gray dress, sitting by the window waiting for your prince to rescue you from that thing you call life.
Let me let you in on a little secret about me—because you know at this point, we are practically besties. I used to be THIRSTY, honey! I was always on the hunt for a man. I went through all the rounds—I begged God for a man, fasted for a man, shoot I even asked my friends if they could find me a man. I was deceived…deceived into thinking that if I found a man, I would be content and happy and satisfied for the rest of my life.
WRONG. Because I found out what happens when you search for a man on the basis of deficiency…you find even more deficiency. And then I heard the Holy Spirit whisper into my heart, “Why do you settle for boys who have done nothing to earn you, when I gave my life so that you could be loved?” BOOM. It was then that I recognized that I was putting myself on sale and allowing boys to disrespect me because I wanted love. I knew that it was time to leave the pits of thirstiness and acquire Living Water.
I know some of you are reading this and going, but girlfriend how do you expect me to find contentment being single when I want me a man?! Well I am so glad you asked. Here are a few things I’m learning:
- Spend Quality Time with your King. Now I don’t know about you, but in my search for a man, I began to neglect God. When I truly began seeking contentment apart from men, I discovered a Love I never knew I had. I began to spend time in deep prayer and worship, journaling and singing. Will you join me in setting time apart each week to spend with God? Love on Him and bless Him by praising Him. Ask Him to meet you and I promise you He will show up!
- Change Your Mindset. Girl in order to make any type of healthy transition, you MUST change your thinking. Begin by evaluating your thoughts. Do you equate happiness with having a guy in your life, or do you experience joy regardless of who is or isn’t around you? Declare and decree that you will find joy and peace NOW. Let’s stop pining after boys NOW. In doing so, we will recognize just how powerful and worthy we are NOW.
- Work on You, boo boo. Honey, it is time you begin to cultivate your life. Stop waiting for Prince Oh-So Fine and get yourself a hobby! Find a cooking class or do what I did—travel and explore! Now you do not have to go to Dubai to do that (even though that would be nice would it not it?). Simply explore in your area! I know for me, I take myself on a date to the bookstore downtown and dive into a good book! Attend some music festivals and go to art galleries. Go back to school! Attend more events at your church and join a small group—community is EVERYTHING. Whatever it is you love to do, DO IT!
Now it’s your turn. Get out there and experience your life. Learn to love who you are becoming even now. Be the Lioness you were created to be. Let the world hear your ROAR because I sure want to!
Curtissa Odi is a guest contributor for BecomingMe.TV and is a lover of all things BECOMING, GROWING AND TRANSFORMING. She is a full time senior in college, dual majoring in Psychology and Education, Business Communications and Consulting. She is a multi-faceted professional: a writer, social activist, strategic consultant, entrepreneur, teacher, worship leader, and the Chief Leadership Director in her empowerment organization that is being launched in the Fall of 2016! When she’s not reading her life away in a good book, she loves to sing, dance, write, strategize, and take photos!
Author: Emily B. Cummins
Emily Cummins is a University of Florida & College of Central Florida grad who is passionate about partnering with people to become who they were made to be. Emily is the Online Campus Pastor at Church of Hope in Ocala, Florida. She’s passionate about storytelling, good cups of coffee, and jamming to country music. And most importantly, she’s passionately pursuing becoming the woman God made her to be.