We have all had those moments when the negative thoughts take over. It is easy to get caught up in the negativity of the world and play the comparison game. With the world of social media, we are constantly flooded with images and stories of people who seem to have it all together; who look perfect, have the perfect life, and have all of the perfect things.
This past Valentine’s Day was hard, but it wasn’t unbearable. Typically it’s the day where I am flooded with images of all of my couple friends doing adorable couple-y things. This year, I was able to find joy in my friends being happy in their relationships, rather than feel dread because yet again, I was single and spending Valentine’s Day alone with my dog.
However, that all changed on February 15th (what is normally one of my favorite days—YAY discounted candy!). For whatever reason, I began to spiral into what I like to call “the pit of despair.” It all started when I let a guy dictate my self-worth. Once that put me in a not-so-joyous mood, technology started doing everything it could to work against me. My day finally ended with a coworker who had known me for 16+ months calling me “Brittney” (by the way, there’s no Brittney in our department).
I left work feeling terrible about myself.
I spent that night with a pint of Ben and Jerry’s, and later that night, I was scrolling through Facebook when a trailer for a new movie popped up on my feed. The name of the movie sparked my interest: I Can Only Imagine. I thought, surely this movie wasn’t about MercyMe’s song by the same name.
The trailer started and to my surprise, it was about the inspiration behind MercyMe’s song! As the trailer played, I started to tear up. “I Can Only Imagine” was one of my mom’s favorite songs at the time of her death. Whenever I hear the song, I always think of her. I thought that she would have loved to see the movie.
The trailer ended with the premiere date of the movie: March 16.
The same day of my mom’s birthday.
And like any emotional woman who had already gorged herself with ice cream after a bad day, I lost it.
If you know me at all, you know that I don’t cry easily. I like to joke that my “Lifetime Movie worthy life” has hardened my heart, making me less prone to crying. While I make that comment in a joking manner, it’s definitely very close to the truth these days.
That night, while I cried over an inspirational movie trailer, I thought of my mom. I thought of how God put this trailer in my path of scrolling. I thought about how I made the conscious decision to press play and watch the trailer.
After such an awful day, I finally felt joy. That simple movie trailer made me think of my mom and how she met God at the pearly gates of Heaven, dancing in His name.
That trailer reminded me that no matter what was going on in my life at that very moment, I had so much more to look forward to. I had the reunion with my mom to look forward to. I had my eternal life in Heaven to look forward to; a life abundant of joy and love in the name of God.
In that moment, I realized, God put this trailer in my line of sight to remind me of His presence; of His plan for my life. His plan was greater than some guy who ignored me. His plan should be what was defining me and my life; not some guy, not my job, and not someone who couldn’t remember my name after 16 months of working together.
With that realization, I realized where my happiness lies—with Him.
2 Corinthians 12:10 says, “That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
When I am weak, God makes me strong. When I am unhappy, God provides me happiness. When I feel the negativity in my life, I just have to turn to God to find the abundance of positivity He provides.
This may have been one of the few times where God wasn’t just talking to me, but rather he was yelling at me: “BRIANNA FIND HAPPINESS IN ME.”
Sometimes, God just whispers. But when He whispers, He speaks the same truth.
I know it is harder to bounce back during the times when God is whispering. But keep His plan in the forefront of your mind. Physically write it down! My roommate used to write her favorite quotes or Bible verses on her mirror, and it worked! Every time she looked in the mirror, she was reminded of the good in life.
Jeremiah 29:11-13 says so clearly, “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.’”
Even in your darkest moments, seek Him and you will be rejuvenated with hope. Seek Him, and you can, and you WILL bounce back.