How to Navigate a Break-Up

 In Kelsey Smith, Single. Dating. Engaged. Married.

Tears, tissues, ice cream, good girlfriends. Did you just watch an episode of This is Us or are you going through a breakup? Sometimes we just all need a good cry and there is nothing wrong with that. But there is a difference between throwing a pity party and wallowing in it.

Unfortunately, there is no manual for how to handle a break-up. Is there a magic formula for how to handle it? Or is it different for each situation and each person?

It may seem as though God has taken something from you or doesn’t love you, but I promise you that isn’t true. He has a plan for you, and sometimes it doesn’t include the people we thought it would. Speaking from experience, sometimes you have to make hard decisions. You have to do what is best for you, even when it doesn’t make sense. It is better to cut the cord and end a relationship that to drag it on and hurt both parties more when it ends.

During break-ups, I think it is important to have a core group of people around you for support, encouragement, and affirmations. People who will let you grieve, but who will also push you to move on. People who will love you, be sensitive to your feelings, but also not sugarcoat anything or enable bad decisions. Even though it may be the last thing you want to do, get up and go to church. Find a small group to get plugged into. You need Jesus and that community now more than ever. Now if you went to the same church as your ex, this may be difficult. You can use this time to try out other churches, or if you love your church try a new service time.

There is no formula for how you are supposed to feel or how long you need to wait before you pursue dating again. Maybe you only cried for one day. Maybe you’ve been crying every day for a week. Maybe it’s all you can think about, or you barely think about it. There is no right or wrong here. You are your own person, and don’t feel bad because your breakup and recovery looks differently than someone else’s.

Moral of the story: you will get over this. You are okay. You are beautiful. You are worthy of love. You will find someone who makes your heart skip a beat, who treasures you, and who protects your heart. You will find your person, so please do not settle. You are priceless.

Author: Kelsey Smith

Kelsey is chasing her dreams in Music City. She’s one of those people who will tell you that Texas is the best state and Nashville is the best city. She works in the music industry and serves on the digital media team at Cross Point church. She is fueled by Jesus, Chick-fil-A, and coffee.

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