I Am A Warrior, Not A Damsel In Distress

 In Culture, Dating, Love, Relationship with God, Relationships

Today’s post comes from one of my dear friends and an amazing Fuse Jr. High intern at Central Christian ChurchJordan Schaeffer. Grab a cup of coffee and dive into some incredible wisdom from Jordan on the idea of waiting for “happily ever after”…

I really do love Disney. I love watching movies starring the classic damsel in distress in the all-I-need-is-true-loves-first-kiss scenario. But I think this scenario just might be putting a dangerous thought in girls’ heads.

I grew up just like every other little girl, singing and dancing to Disney princess movies. I remember getting all dressed up in my clothes and attempting to do my makeup just to put on a show for my teddy bears. I was that girl. I dreamed about the day I would find my prince charming and we’d live happily ever after. I’m sure you’ve all seen one of these Disney movies. There’s a girl with some family drama, she sings and dances with animals, is labeled a damsel in distress, gets caught in some kind of trouble and then…BAM true love’s first kiss heals her and changes everything!

We watch these movies and we want to be like these princesses. The movies have us rooting for prince charming and eagerly waiting for true love’s first kiss. Whether we want to admit it or not that’s how we grow up. We wait for some guy in fancy steal armor to carry us away in a white carriage. We sit in our rooms planning a fairytale wedding on our pinterest boards and focus on finding love at first sight.

Some may choose to interpret this as the reason why many of us fall for the first guy who comes along and says we’re cute, but I have a little different perspective. I’ve journeyed through middle school, high school and half of my college years without a guy by my side. I grew up watching these classic movies and wanting and doing everything in the paragraphs above—until I realized that this isn’t how life is. My family is messed up, not one marriage has been successful, not one relationship has headed down the road to happily ever after. Growing up seeing this changed my perspective. I thought because my family was messed up, why should I even bother to try in my own relationships. I became independent at a very young age and I didn’t depend on anyone or anything besides myself, but that didn’t mean I never wanted to be in a relationship or eventually have a husband. I longed for a relationship, for a guy to come into my life and change it for the better!

And guess what? I did meet my knight in shining armor, the guy that would change everything. The one person who would pour unconditional love over me and would shower me in grace. Except I found that He wasn’t some lame prince charming, but the King of Kings, the Lord of Lords. He captured my heart and healed my wounds. Not using true love’s kiss, but by giving His one and only son to die for me on the cross.

“By His wounds we are healed” {Isaiah 53:5}

This is what I hold onto, this is what I think of when I am feeling lonely—what I think of when I feel like prince charming is never going to come. I remember that He is with me and He has a plan for me. He had my life planned out before I was even born. The Lord of all the Nations cares about me, about you—about us—more than any guy will. He made us strong and ready to fight whatever battles we come up against. I was made a woman of Christ, not a princess. A warrior, not a damsel in distress. A girl whose life she fully devotes to the Maker of the Universe, not a love struck puppy dog searching for a dorky guy on a donkey.

Now I’m not bashing dudes here. I believe that God created us with different purposes and one of those being to marry and be fruitful like it’s said in Genesis:

“God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number, fill the Earth and subdue it.” {Genesis 1:28}

“This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one” {Genesis 2:24}

I love and can’t wait for the day that God brings “the one” into my life, but I am also not going to mope around waiting for prince charming and his white horse to come riding in. I am going to make every day an adventure—an adventure of making my relationship with Christ grow deeper and deeper. Every day I also commit to praying for my future husband, wherever he is and for his relationship with Christ to grow deeper as well! I believe and trust in God’s promises and I know that His plans are far greater than the ones that I have planned in my head.

“Jesus replied, you don’t understand what I am doing now, but someday you will.” {John 13:7}

We don’t have to be damsels in distress for a guy to come swoop us off our feet; we need to trust that Jesus died for us and has a far greater plan for our lives—to be so focused on Him that any guy would have to be just as in love with Him to be in love with you.

I am not a princess, but an woman of Christ, falling more and more in love with Jesus everyday.

Author: Emily B. Cummins

Emily Cummins is a University of Florida & College of Central Florida grad who is passionate about partnering with people to become who they were made to be. Emily is the Online Campus Pastor at Church of Hope in Ocala, Florida. She’s passionate about storytelling, good cups of coffee, and jamming to country music. And most importantly, she’s passionately pursuing becoming the woman God made her to be.

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