I Was Becoming A Christian Mean Girl And I Don’t Like It

 In Amy Poole, Church, Culture, Personal Growth, Relationship with God, Relationships

Disguised in a confident shell of sarcasm, coffee, and a theology book is the girl we all long to be friends with. She is the perfect combination of fun, sass, and culture, with a sweet undertone of cliche Christian sayings. She overshares a bit, but it’s okay because she is praying for the person. She flips between friends because, truth be told, there is always a better option out there and it’s not in her interest to be a “people pleaser”.

She exists on every church staff, congregation, and small group. Truth be told, you’ve either been her, wanted to be her, or both. And if I am being honest, I was becoming her.

So what stopped me?

What do we do about this epidemic that is slowly taking over female church culture?

How do we shift our focus off of becoming the culturally relevant Christian, to being the Christ-following Christian?

Many might not even see an issue in the description above. After all, its all deep rooted in the heart of the matter…the heart. The Christian mean girl is mean because of one thing and one thing only: insecurity. The only reason that the Christian mean girl exists is because somewhere along the lines of weekend services, Hillsong jam sessions, and coffee DTR’s with potential boys, she lost her security in who God made her to be.

Why do we do that? Why do we let others decide who we are based on what we are or are not invited to? Or who or who doesn’t find us interesting? Better yet, why do we allow ourselves to get hurt by people, and then go and treat others in the same way that has so deeply scarred us?

Today is the day this stops in my life. No longer will I sit and ponder how I can achieve the highest social rank within my church staff, congregation, and small group. No longer will I ignore the people right in front of me, just as I’ve been ignored at times within my life. What about the girl who just moved here who is having trouble making friends and may be missing her family? What about the boy who lived here for years and has yet to be invited to a group event? They may not be my idea of a social butterfly, but I will invite them because that Sunday School answer of WWJD should still ring true.

No longer will I sit and talk about how I am praying for so and so because such and such happened. I will actually just pray for so and so about such and such, and change subjects politely if someone else deems the topic interesting enough to gossip about.

And no longer will I hide behind the facade of Jesus sayings and verses without actually living them out.

So who are you pledging to be today? The culturally relevant, Christian mean girl or the Christ-following woman?

Author: Emily B. Cummins

Emily Cummins is a University of Florida & College of Central Florida grad who is passionate about partnering with people to become who they were made to be. Emily is the Online Campus Pastor at Church of Hope in Ocala, Florida. She’s passionate about storytelling, good cups of coffee, and jamming to country music. And most importantly, she’s passionately pursuing becoming the woman God made her to be.

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