Some people cringe when they hear the word “sex.” Our generation has been brought up with the notion of “oh please, not another sex talk!” Seriously! Think about it…when an adult comes and says, “We need to talk about something important,” and then brings up the topic of sex, you get uncomfortable, start to sweat a bit, and really wish you weren’t having that conversation right now. But then it is constantly shoved down our throats, “Don’t have sex, don’t have sex! Just in case you didn’t get it the first time, DON’T HAVE SEX!” Blah, blah blah……yep, I have heard that one before! OK, so before you rule out this post, hear me out. I am not here to give you the “sex talk” one more time. I just want to state the facts…..I am on this same road with you!
Do you ever feel like we live in a world of very mixed messages? Like look at the media! Almost every movie has the hot guy who sweeps the girl off her feet and they fall madly in love, move in together, and live happily every after. That isn’t how real life works. The media would love for us to believe that the next step in a relationship would be either moving in together to “test it out” or just try each other out physically just to make sure the “magic” is really there! Ah, no. You cannot find out if a certain guy is for you simply by how he kisses. There really will not be fireworks in the air and a great big neon sign that flashes “he’s the one” when his kiss seals the deal. That’s how Hollywood works, not real people.
How many movies, magazines, songs, and TV shows have you seen in the last year that have had the issue of sex in them (or how about in the last week?!)? Umm, let’s think about that one–too many to count, right?! Some popular items over the past couple years would be in the cases of Juno, The Secret Life of the American Teenager, the teen “pregnancy pacts” in high schools, and the pregnancies of popular celebrities such as Jamie Lynn Spears. Sex is literally shoved into our faces and our world tells us that it is cool–everybody else is doing it, so why not? I probably won’t end up pregnant anyways! That notion is totally false! Even though you feel like you won’t end up pregnant, you just might. There is no guarantee that even just experimenting with sex will leave you free of a pregnancy or a disease that lasts a lifetime. Now, these are the standard and obvious “no no’s” of sex, but what defines sex?
OK, I am not going to go detailed here, but sex is intercourse with the opposite sex. Period. Intercourse. You getting with him physically. Two becoming one. God set sex apart for marriage only. Between one man and one woman. Not between multiple men and women. He wants sex to be a special present between you and your future spouse someday. Sex bonds you with another person in a way that you cannot be separated. Sex in a simple dating relationship leaves you broken and hurting. Sex in marriage leaves you fulfilled and satisfied. Hello, God created sex! It isn’t something to turn red in the face about. It is something to be thankful for in the right time and place.
If I were to buy you a present, I would take special time and care to pick it out and wrap it beautifully. I would proudly give it to you and watch as you open it up and enjoy what’s inside. I would not give you a thrown out piece of garbage wrapped in wrinkled, old newspapers that were stained in mud! Definitely not! The same goes for yourself. You are a treasure. Save yourself for your future husband to enjoy. Don’t present yourself as someone who has been unwrapped over and over for him to get the left-overs.
What if you have already gone down the path of sex? Can you ever get your purity back? You can definitely talk to Jesus and make a 180 degree turn to walk towards sexual purity. God loves you more than anything in the world and desperately wants to re-wrap you in His special wrapping paper! He can make you brand new again!!!
There are many different sub-topics in the area of sex, but if you have been sexually abused or raped, please talk to a trusted adult woman about it. Do not carry that burden alone. In God’s eyes, you are pure. It is not your fault that someone took advantage of you. Please seek help to restore your body and mind.
So I hope that you didn’t feel like you were being forced into another “sex talk” while you were reading this! Sex really is an awesome thing if we use it in the right way. Be patient. Don’t give yourself away to the first guy that walks your way. If he is pressuring you into sex for love, he is not worth it! Please, please, please do not fall for that trap! Jesus loves you so much! Follow Him in this process. Believe me, you will not be disappointed!
What does it mean & how can you “live radiantly”? We’re honored to have this Warrior Conversation with Laura Strand unpacking this question! In this