Shake It Off: When You Feel Unheard
I am going to come right out and say that I had a hard time with this topic. I am the type of person who makes herself heard… even to the detriment of some relationships. In my own selfish defense, I always feel like when I am voicing my opinion, it’s to help someone else.
As I sat thinking about all of the different times I felt like I wasn’t being heard, and how hard it would be to write about all of those times, and not point fingers, I realized that yes… there were times in my personal and professional life when I felt like I wasn’t being heard.
But as I sat there reflecting on what to write about, I realized that one of the best examples of not feeling heard, was when, over the course of several years, I felt like God wasn’t hearing me.
When I was in my late teens/early twenties, I battled with depression and serious doubts about God. After my mom died, I went through seven years of just one death after another. I felt like God was slowly picking off all of the significant influencers in my life.
I felt defeated. I would cry out to God asking why this was happening to me. Why He was trying to make me feel alone in the world.
I felt so unheard. So ignored. So unloved.
It wasn’t until I really faced the source of the problem that I really start to hear God again. I realized that God wasn’t punishing me. He wasn’t taking all of these people away from me to teach me some twisted lesson.
God wanted me to turn towards Him in the midst of all of the trauma, depression and anguish.
I was angry with all that had happened to me. But the problem with that thinking, is that it wasn’t God DOING something to me. I had no reason to be directing my anger at Him. I needed to be drawing closer to Him, not pushing Him away.
Hebrews 4:16 reminds us, “Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”
God wasn’t hearing me because I wasn’t talking to Him – I was yelling at Him. I was directing my anger at Him, and I wasn’t listening to Him as He tried to show me mercy and grace.
It is so hard to be in the position where you feel like you are unheard. But it is even harder to shake it off, take a step back, and listen.
One of the best lessons my boss has taught me is to actively listen to people when they talk to me. More times than not, they are telling you something important, but in a way that is not obvious.
In a world filled with instant gratification, we often have to remember to pause, slow down, and regroup. So when you feel unheard, take a step back and ensure you are listening to the other person. Because often, we are feeling just as unheard as the other person.
Author: Brianna Nelson
Brianna Nelson is a 24 year old Southern California native that currently resides in Nashville, Tennessee. She loves reading, listening to music and going to concerts, spending time outdoors with her friends, and playing with her new puppy Ginny, a 4 month old Dachshund. She was raised Roman Catholic, but at the age of 10 converted to Christianity with her family. She rededicated her life to God at the age of 20 while attending California Baptist University. Brianna has experienced her own sense of loss when her mom died of a rare blood disease when she was 13 years old. Since then she has lost several close family members and friends. She suffered depression in her early years of college and since then, she has spoken out about the effects of depression and the loss of a loved one within the Christian community. She is currently furthering her education at Regent University and obtaining a Masters in Strategic Communications while working full time for the Hospital Corporation of America in their Human Resources department. Her home church in Nashville is Crosspoint.