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What Happened to All the Guys?

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Is chivalry dead? What happened to my knight in shining armor? Are girls really supposed to take the lead when it comes to relationships?

Two of my close friends and I began a new tradition in college. Once a week we would all meet at my house to eat dinner and just talk about what is going on in each other’s lives. After a while, it felt like our conversations were centered primarily on guys, or the lack of them! What do I mean? All three of us have a certain criteria that we are looking for in a godly man. He must first and foremost love Jesus with his entire being. But secondly, he must also be a strong leader. He needs to be the initiator in the relationship and lead it to where God wants it to go. Lately we have noticed in our own lives that it seems like chivalry is dead. Huh? You know, when guys were gentlemen and held doors open for women or stood up when a young lady entered the room. There once was a time when men would jump up to gladly offer their seat to a woman. The technical definition of chivalry is “the sum of the ideal qualifications of a knight, including courtesy, generosity, valor, and dexterity in arms.” A chivalrous man is in other words a gentleman. But the kind of man that we, as godly young women, are waiting for is much more than just a mere gentleman. The man that we are holding out for is a man of corosso.

Corosso is the Greek word for character. The meaning of character here is much deeper than how we translate it today. It means to have integrity–to stand upright and pure. What does this chivalrous man of corosso look like? This man loves God with his entire heart and strives to put Him first in everything he says and does. Secondly, he is a man of integrity and leadership. He does what is right, no matter what. He takes the lead. He is a man who loves him family. He treats women with respect and dignity. He has manners. Sound perfect? Impossible? Not perfect and not impossible, but sometimes hard to imagine today. This man seems impossible to find. Where have the men of corosso gone?!

As my friends and I dream about the future, we seriously wonder where God is hiding this breed of men. But He isn’t hiding them. They are out there! We just have to wait for God to bring us together in His timing. That’s what is key. And while we wait for men of corosso, we must also focus on becoming women after God’s own heart. “A Christ-following Hero trusts God’s purposes and leads others to do the same.” We need to trust that God has the perfect plan and timing to bring that special someone into our lives. A guy can never complete you and you can never complete that guy. Remember, it’s not all about the guy! Only Jesus Christ can define you and satisfy the desires of your heart. Allow Him to shape and mold you into the woman He wants you to be and trust Him to bring your knight in shining armor when He knows that you are ready. Patience isn’t easy, but it is well worth the wait. One man who has modeled true corosso to me once said, “What God does in you while you wait is just as important as what you are waiting for.” Those words definitely ring true. Chivalry is not dead. Men do still take the lead in relationships. You just have to look for it and trust that God knows what He is doing.

*Here’s a thought to chew on today: Have you ever thought that maybe this breed of men that God is raising up is down on their knees praying for a generation of godly young women? Changing the world starts with me. While you trust God for that warrior-servant, keep your eyes on Christ & allow Him to transform you into a radiant, passionate, set-apart woman chasing after Him alone.

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