In 2012, I tattooed a little eight-letter word on my wrist that has changed the entire trajectory of my life. “Becoming” is more than just a phrase or pretty idea or token of inspiration. Becoming is a way of life, a journey we’re all traveling on. Embracing my becoming journey has not only empowered others to embrace their’s as well, but it has stirred up inside me my heart’s cry & life’s passion: to partner with people, to cheer them on, to equip them on the journey of becoming who God made them to be.
Suffocation felt imminent. My earliest memories are truly happy memories, however, they’re also laced with a devious undercurrent that threatened to sabotage who I was.
The “p” word haunted my thoughts—chasing perfection in my
little girl ballet routines, middle school swim team competitions, high school SAT scores, college acceptance letters, and the selection of a college major. I chased perfection like a drug, always falling a few marks short, never quite the flawless ballerina, all-star swimmer, or A+ student.
No one placed this pressure on me; my pain was completely self-inflicted. Looking back, I now understand how much of my DNA and personality naturally led me to the breaking point (I’m an Enneagram 1, INTJ, and Owl, for all of you personality test gurus). However, my early twenty-something self felt like her world was crashing around her because she simply couldn’t execute it perfectly.
I grew up in the church, in fact, my Daddy has been a pastor my entire life. I knew who Jesus was and never questioned whether I
believed in Him, but in all my tear-filled doing and failing, I realized I didn’t really know Jesus. Beginning my own relationship with God—not assuming I had a relationship with Him because of my parents—ignited a life-changing invitation into freedom.
I found myself halfway through college on my knees before Jesus, choosing to trust Him with my story and relinquishing the false sense of control I had struggled to grasp. It was here, in my brokenness, that He extended the invitation to become who He had made me to be all along. God never designed me to be perfect, but to be becoming… learning, growing, falling down and getting back up, changing, and trying new things.
A saying from Shauna Niequist solidified this invitation in my heart and mind: “This season is about becoming…walk closely with people you love, and with people who believe God is good & life is a grand adventure. Don’t get stuck in the past, and don’t try to fast-forward yourself into a future you haven’t yet earned. Give today all the love and intensity and courage you can, and keep traveling honestly along life’s path” (Shauna Niequest, Bittersweet).
In an instant, my worldview changed. For the first time, I truly believed the pursuit of perfection was futile and embarking on the life-long journey of becoming me was the greatest adventure I could start. To mark my moment, I tattooed that little eight-letter word on my wrist, putting in front of my eyes every single day the reminder that I’ll never be perfect, I am becoming.
Warrior friend, you are becoming, too. I don’t know your story, but I know God designed you on purpose, with purpose… to be uniquely you. Since getting that “becoming” tattoo on my wrist in 2012, my life has never been the same. I’ve embraced this adventure with gumption and a whole lot of grace. I’ve failed and fallen (a lot!), and in the falling, I’ve discovered that success is found in getting back up.
BecomingMe.TV is more than a book or a podcast or a resource. Becoming Me is a battle cry, a place for warriors to learn and grow, because becoming isn’t a journey for the faint of heart. It’s messy. It’s hard. Most days I don’t feel like lacing up my warrior boots and taking the next step in front of me. I have my fair share of anxiety, panic attacks, depression, doubt, fatigue, and anger. But I’ve tipped into this story… and I never want to go back to the slavery of perfection again. I’ve tasted freedom and won’t give it up. That’s my hope for you, too.
Know you’re not alone here. My story along with Becoming Stories of hundreds of others are woven throughout BecomingMe.TV… and you, warrior friend, have a story, too. So, grab a cup of coffee, and let’s embark on this journey together… becoming me. I’m so glad you’re here!
@emilybcummins
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Only one thing can stop you from becoming you: YOU. Circumstances, people, social media, your bank account, your job, health, and relationship status don’t determine
Only one thing can stop you from becoming you: YOU. Circumstances, people, social media, your bank account, your job, health, and relationship status don’t determine
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