The X Factor: How Your Relationship Status Fits in the Equation

 In Amanda Zecher, Blank Space

Math is one of those subjects most people feel pretty strongly about. You usually either love it or you hate it, but wherever you fall along that spectrum, stick with me when I say that a lot of us are trying to “solve for X” in life.

In algebra, there are certain variables that we are supposed to just “figure out”. They’re undefined. Something like a blank space. We know one part of the equation, and we know the output, but there’s this X factor that’s totally unknown to us.

In life, we know the outcome we want. Happiness, companionship, love––you name it. We want to experience a rich and satisfying life. And so it goes that we go about our days with something like this in the back of our minds:

(me)x = total life fulfillment

Whether we know it or not, we try all kinds of things to solve for that value of X. A specific one I want to expose is one that is so in-our-face around this time of year. It’s that X factor called a relationship. As the bouquets of roses, boxes of chocolate, love songs, and words of adoration take center stage, it’s easy to look at all the blissful couples and think to ourselves, “If I only had that, things would be so much better.”

Sweet friend, allow me to whisper a truth to you as the world shouts that someone can complete you. There is only one relationship status we need to focus our time, energy, and heart on this Valentine’s Day. There is only one solution for the X factor in our life, and it’s not a significant other. It’s Jesus––and our intimate, authentic relationship with Him––that completes us.

The product on the other side of the equation mark, that full and free life, can only be achieved when we merge our life with His grace. His whole purpose in coming to earth was to invite us into a relationship with Him and give the people He loves that rich and satisfying life we crave (see John 10:10). When we set aside time to seek out His heart, pray to Him from our heart, and spend time in the Word soaking up His love-laced promises for us, we find fulfillment in every season. It doesn’t matter if we are single, dating, engaged, married, separated, or widowed—none of those relationship statuses define our life like He can.

Out of His great love for us, He wants to deposit His own Spirit inside us. Kind of like the ultimate companion. Relentless love for us, constant fellowship with us, undaunted commitment towards us… and He wants to lavish so many blessings upon our life.

“But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.” Galatians 5:22-23

Don’t we desire those fruits so deeply? When we seek Him first and foremost, allowing a relationship with Him to be the X factor that fulfills us, all of that follows suit.

“Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.” Matthew 6:33

He knows the desires of our heart. When we pursue Him with all we are, grow in our love for Him, and begin to work in His purpose for our life, we can experience that rich and satisfying life. He positions us to receive His gifts and promises along the way. For some of us, that will be a relationship—in the right time. When we get there, or even if we never do, we can be positioned with incredible gratitude for the life we have. It’s all an overflow of that relationship with Him.

So in the equation for life, let’s remember that X can only equal a consistent and meaningful relationship with Jesus. Let Him fill your blank space today. Out of that decision flows a life that is so full of love and blessings, and not just on Valentine’s Day, but in every moment of every day for all eternity.

I don’t know about you, but I’d take that over a box of chocolates hands down.

Author: Amanda Zecher

Amanda Zecher is a West Coast girl adventuring on the East Coast. Fueled by coffee and chai tea lattes, this nomadic California native can be found exploring, creating, or day-dreaming. She is passionate about helping people discover and live up to their full God-potential through serving in communications and creative arts at Barefoot Church.

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